Everything you ever wanted to know about Wombania, and a lot you didn't.
Where is Wombania located?
Wombania isn't actually a place. It's more a metaphysical state of being.
I'm sure glad you cleared that up.
Wild wombats are large timid intelligent powerful lumbering stocky bear-like nocturnal grazing Australian marsupials (whew!) that live in an elaborate system of burrows. They're in desperate need of better living quarters. And an agent.
Wombies, on the other hand, are cuter, cuddlier, and much more cultivated than their wild cousins. In fact, Wombies are so highly advanced that they're a separate subspecies (Vombatus Francus).
Where did the Wombies come from?
Long, long ago (almost four people-years), in a far-off land (Australia), the first generation of Wombies were unleashed upon the earth by the demented Dr. Franco.
Why did Dr. Franco create the Wombies?
Following a nasty childhood encounter with a cantankerous Chihuahua, Dr. Franco (thereafter called Stumpy), dedicated his life to creating the world's most sophisticated and even-tempered house pet.
After sixty years of failure (and the scars to prove it), Dr. Franco at last achieved his lifelong goal: he produced the very first genetically-engineered wombat. Officially known as Wombie #WX-267, he later came to be known as Binky, the smartest Wombie of all.
Just how smart is Binky?
Extensively tested and monitored as he matured, Binky was found to be far more gifted than Dr. Franco had dreamed possible. It was clearly evident that Binky could no longer be classified as a mere pet. Binky was, in fact, Dr. Franco's intellectual superior. And, at six months of age, Binky hadn't yet achieved even half his potential.
How did the Wombies get to America?
Following Dr. Franco's tragic death, the Wombies were scheduled to be put down. Realizing this, Binky masterminded a perilous escape from Dr. Franco's laboratory. The original colony of 27 Wombies made a long and frightful journey across Asia, Europe...
...and the Atlantic Ocean to locate their only known human relative, Chris Land. Chris took it all in stride.
After they moved in with Chris, his life has never been the same. And that's probably a good thing, considering how pathetic his life was previously.
But true. Anyway, after the Wombies took over both his home and his life, Chris learned to live with--and even like--the little fuzzballs. Though he would like them more if Binky would stop blowing up his basement.
Unbeknownst to Chris, however, it is from this unlikely setting that the Wombies are plotting their worldwide invasion.
Can we do anything to protect ourselves from this invasion?
No, we're helpless.
Is the planned invasion why Winky has that look in his eyes?
What's a Wombie's diet?
Being omnivorous, Wombies will eat almost anything, though they prefer Wine Gums, Spam, chocolate, and Champagne soda.
What're Wine Gums?
Wine Gums are the nectar of the gods; the most delectable candy treat you're ever likely to experience. At least according to the Wombies.
What's a Wombie's natural habitat?
Middle class suburbia. Preferably with a basement and air-conditioning. And cable.
Wombie facts courtesy The International Wombie Fanatics Association. We assume no responsibility for the accuracy of said facts. Or said fanatics. Copyright Peter Marinacci