The Return of Binky
Binky Returns!The Wombie Weekly
(WP) After a much too long absence, Binky quietly returned to Wombania today. Not much worse for the wear, he was in good spirits but refused to elaborate on where he was for the last few months. The exact nature of his disappearance remains a mystery.
Binky did return with another degree, however, and admitted that his long absence was due in part to his need to expand his horizons and conduct top-secret research on his latest rocket design. "I wasn't able to win the X-Prize, despite my best efforts," Binky confessed. "It was a rather disappointing endeavor after all my hard work. Though I'm not at all certain that I would've qualified, since my rockets are designed to transport Wombies, not humans."
When asked if he felt the X-Prize was too species-specific, he remained diplomatic. "I have nothing against humans, of course," Binky was quick to offer. "It's just that they're significantly larger and more massive than us Wombies. When one is trying to reach space, every extra kilogram makes the task that much more difficult."
"SpaceShipOne was a superb design, and Burt Rutan is an outstanding designer. He deserves all the accolades he received for his achievement. But he had a crew of hundreds and a budget of $20 million, and I had only myself and Chris's Visa card."
The X-Prize now behind him, Binky remains committed to his dream. "I'm still planning to make it into space. It's just taking a little longer than anticipated."
Everyone in Wombania was ecstatic at the return of their genius-in-residence, even though some felt he should have told them he was safe and sound. "We figured he was off with his rockets someplace, though he could've blown himself up and no one would've known," one anonymous bystander remarked.
A celebratory party is planned for this evening. "I really don't know what all the commotion is about," Binky said. "I just came home to finish my latest rocket design. It has an exciting new hybrid solid/liquid rocket engine which uses a super-cooled oxidizer in combination with a proprietary catalyst. This allows for a greater pre-combustion compression, which optimizes both the rocket's thermodynamic efficiency and its thrust output." When asked to translate, Binky rolled his eyes. "More power."
Everyone is invited to attend Binky's homecoming party. You're encouraged to bring your own Wine Gums, and a desert to share. And any rockets that you'd like tested.